It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
