What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
