I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone came in the potted fern
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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