My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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