apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
