It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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