you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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