All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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