Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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