For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
