Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
