His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
