saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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