She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
