Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
