I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Ketchup is God's man juice
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
