You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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