She said her name was "party"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
