her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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