she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
