While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
