the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love accidental penises.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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