idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
