I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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