We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
