She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
