put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
do nipples grow back?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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