my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
