THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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