And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Enjoy the penises
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
