I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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