come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
