The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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