Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
