I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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