I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize