That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
