is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
