Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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