Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
