You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
