I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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