this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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