i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
