Can i not drive my cunt home
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
