Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize