i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
