Someone shit on the floor
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
