Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
