we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
