the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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