I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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