You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
