I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just googled if crying burns calories
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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