I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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