That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
