You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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