u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
