I wanna bring you to show and tell
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
