you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
