im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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