Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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