after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
