dude i'm inner monologue high
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
